😂 How to pick your fantasy football team's name

From streets to pets to body parts and beyond, humans excel at naming things. We enthusiastically brainstorm nicknames for ourselves while dishing out monikers for others. Authors take on pen names. Performers craft stage names. Situationships are stored in phones under fake names.

It's a logical process, one that evokes delight and provides context. Without names, we wouldn't be able to distinguish between the "hey, yous" and the "that thing over theres" of the world. Names are, in fact, so impactful that they have to "fit." For example, have you ever expected an Ethan but an Albert showed up? It's rattling.

No wonder we care so deeply about our fake football team names. They immediately signal to our competition both our priorities and our ethos. With intentional branding, we possess the power to affect our leaguemates. The right combination of words can antagonize or enchant (or both). Plus, it's fun to take a break from studying Mike Clay's rankings to daydream about what will look best engraved on a championship trophy.

Team names can take on a variety of complexions, but they tend to fall under one of four main categories. Below is a list of common themes and accompanying appellations. May they inspire you on your own naming quest.

Putting the ME in TEAM

This manager wants the world to know exactly whom it's messing with. Their selected team name is not only a conscious reflection of the time and effort they sink into each draft pick and waiver-wire move, but also a clear representation of their unique passions and interests outside of the virtual game. There is no second-guessing this person's identity, their team name says it all ... and then some. Creating this type of title generally relies on combining the manager's name with a hobby and a subtle nod to the gridiron.

Examples:

• Greg's Sack and Snack Monsters

• Passenger Princess Poppy and her Punt Puppets

• Zack's SubSTACKED Squad

• Jake Smells Like Teen Spirit and SPARQ Scores

• Emily's Ultimate Warrior Walk-ons

Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

Who doesn't love an inside joke? They are the lifeblood of every friendship, especially ones developed while trash-talking each other's imaginary football franchises. Whether intended to flame a friendly adversary or highlight recurring hilarity, using a league-specific gag to title your team adds a personalized touch to the 17-week (get out of here with that Week 18 Super Bowl) experience. Millions (yes, millions) of people may play fantasy football ... but only your league understands its wonderfully odd and entertaining idiosyncrasies.

Examples:

• Drafted at the Sizzler

• [Blank] got the Car, I Kept the League

• Risked it for a last-place Biscuit

• Rescued by my dog and Trade Offers

• Autodraft Apologist since '22

Hometown pride

Fantasy, undeniably, increases the breadth of a football fan's knowledge and perspective of the league. Still, the large majority of fantasy football enthusiasts begin as supporters of a particular franchise. Adoration for a home club often spills over into the broader landscape, developing into an appreciation beyond a particular geographic location. While this trajectory remains nearly universal, most devotees (even those near Cleveland and the Meadowlands) continue to hold dear the squad that served as a catalyst for their current, larger obsession. Spotlighting these hometown origins is a playful way to pay homage to the past while enjoying the present.

Examples:

• Terrible Towel, Team Still Wavin'

• Lambeau Leapers Anonymous

• Black Hole of Hope

• Soldier for Ditka

• Cirque du SoBills

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Player puns

Puns may be considered the lowest form of humor ... but that doesn't mean they're not funny. Arguably the most popular type of fantasy team name, player puns are a classic way to customize your squad while keeping the mood light. Whether attempting to be clever or risqué, an effective pun not only gives the giggles, but also shows off a manager's wit. An effective play on words can subtly put the rest of the league on notice, alerting the competition to your capacity for guile and cunning. It also keeps a team fresh and relevant. Your personal mantra might have been "Live and Let Addai" 18 years ago, but these days you're spreading that "Bijan Mustard."

Examples:

• Hot Chubb Time Machine

• Pitts & Giggles

• Singletary and Ready to Mingletary

• Lamarvel Cinematic Universe

• Good Fences, Better Nabers